Hi all, FM here. I’d suggest Laurie R King’s Mary Russell series. Russell is Sherlock Holmes' much younger but equally brilliant wife. There are several books in the series, and each can stand alone.
My wife pushes herself too far all the time. I try to nag her to get her to dial things back. But I don't always know when to stop her and when to let her push herself.
My husband has the same complaint. He sometimes nags, but frankly that’s not useful. It’s best when he just asks me to pay attention to my body and then jumps in to fill the slack when I’m feeling exceptionally shitty. He’s also learned that I need a lot of time after a weekend with family, say, when I’ll be useless for anything but sleep. Good luck and just keep showing her you love her even when she takes on too much. It’s a process.
I try to balance things. I won't say "Don't" but say "do X and only X." I often ask if she wants help, but 95% of the time it's a no. Maybe I need to ask your husband for strategies. Maybe by 2075 i'll have it figured out.
That's such a valid point! I get the same experience with my husband.
What came to us was some sort of code, one is that I have to state clearly well I'm just not able to, I've reached my limit. It takes adjustments, always....
We do such a thing as well. I tell him when I genuinely can do something and I tell him when I'm really not up to it. But I need to be honest for it to work. And sometimes my eyes are bigger than my stomach to misuse a metaphor.
Me too. Same. It takes a lot of back and forth with my husband and my checking with my internal self. I "want" to do that, but "can" I or "should" I. As Soso was saying, (I think it was her, I was listening) that she'll do something like go to the store and then the next day, she is laid up. It is such a frustration because I have to plan that way too. Really wish I could do things two days or three days in a row, but no. I need to prep for it ahead of time, so I can even do it (whether it is a doc appointment or grocery shopping), and then need to leave time for recovery afterward.
yes I think I was talking about pacing.. its important to respect our limits. like if I know i have an outing at night then ill need to rest in the afternoon beforehand. I did that today. It took some time to accept that I need to do it in order to avoid bigger flares.
Nick's approach to talking to MAGA might be interesting to Steven Hassan as he uses his cult strategies in how to talk to MAGA. So, he might be interested in comparing cult strategies with interrogation strategies when talking to MAGA. He also tends to talk to people on his podcast who have written books. So, if any of you have written a book that could also be a hook. Unfortunately my book about charter schools would not interest him, not one little bit.
Hi all, FM here. I’d suggest Laurie R King’s Mary Russell series. Russell is Sherlock Holmes' much younger but equally brilliant wife. There are several books in the series, and each can stand alone.
Hmmm. I'll check it out. It kind of ruins my hope that Sherlock and Watson are a couple, but 🤷🏻♀️
Wait til you come across Mrs Hudson’s (Holmes’ housekeeper) story. I forgot the title of the book, but it was wonderful. Totally unexpected.
My wife pushes herself too far all the time. I try to nag her to get her to dial things back. But I don't always know when to stop her and when to let her push herself.
My husband has the same complaint. He sometimes nags, but frankly that’s not useful. It’s best when he just asks me to pay attention to my body and then jumps in to fill the slack when I’m feeling exceptionally shitty. He’s also learned that I need a lot of time after a weekend with family, say, when I’ll be useless for anything but sleep. Good luck and just keep showing her you love her even when she takes on too much. It’s a process.
I try to balance things. I won't say "Don't" but say "do X and only X." I often ask if she wants help, but 95% of the time it's a no. Maybe I need to ask your husband for strategies. Maybe by 2075 i'll have it figured out.
If she's as most of us are, its very hard to admit and accept that its ok to ask for help.
I have been working on this for over ten years. It's how I got from 0% to 5%. Maybe by 2040 I will have her at 10%.
That's such a valid point! I get the same experience with my husband.
What came to us was some sort of code, one is that I have to state clearly well I'm just not able to, I've reached my limit. It takes adjustments, always....
Maybe we need a new show "Sick of our spouses." Hmn. Maybe that's not such a great title. But you get the idea.
We do such a thing as well. I tell him when I genuinely can do something and I tell him when I'm really not up to it. But I need to be honest for it to work. And sometimes my eyes are bigger than my stomach to misuse a metaphor.
omg same....!
Me too. Same. It takes a lot of back and forth with my husband and my checking with my internal self. I "want" to do that, but "can" I or "should" I. As Soso was saying, (I think it was her, I was listening) that she'll do something like go to the store and then the next day, she is laid up. It is such a frustration because I have to plan that way too. Really wish I could do things two days or three days in a row, but no. I need to prep for it ahead of time, so I can even do it (whether it is a doc appointment or grocery shopping), and then need to leave time for recovery afterward.
I so hear you. Little by little we get by.
Thank you, Stephanie. Yes. Little by little. I'm trying to learn to lean into "slowing down".
yes I think I was talking about pacing.. its important to respect our limits. like if I know i have an outing at night then ill need to rest in the afternoon beforehand. I did that today. It took some time to accept that I need to do it in order to avoid bigger flares.
Nick's approach to talking to MAGA might be interesting to Steven Hassan as he uses his cult strategies in how to talk to MAGA. So, he might be interested in comparing cult strategies with interrogation strategies when talking to MAGA. He also tends to talk to people on his podcast who have written books. So, if any of you have written a book that could also be a hook. Unfortunately my book about charter schools would not interest him, not one little bit.
how about Chronicsillyspousity? 😆😉
LOL Stephanie 😂